People on the autism spectrum are often challenged when it comes to intuiting and understanding the thoughts and feelings of others, also known as a "theory of mind". Theory of mind skills are critical the building and maintaining relationships because they allow us to anticipate the needs of others as well as experience and express empathy. The processes involved in thoughts involving theory of mind occur a region in the brain called the medial prefrontal cortex that’s engaged whenever we’re thinking about other people.

So how do we develop a theory of mind? It may seem counter intuitive but the answer is through developing a greater sense of self awareness. The bases of developing greater emotional intelligence is an understanding of the processes and connections behind our own thoughts, opinions, and decisions. Studies have shown that we go through the process of assigning reason and meaning to our decisions only after they have been made subconsciously based on the neural networks of our previous experiences, genetic, and epigenetic inheritance.

1. Develop a baseline of self awareness by taking time out each day to notice your thoughts and feelings without judgement.

2. Notice and name your assumptions, preconceptions, and stereotypes.

3. Foster a separation from identifying with these thoughts. This will allow you to notice strong feelings when they happen without an involuntary reaction.

How to Become a Mind Reader

1. Observe body language: watch for eye contact, whether the person has an open or closed posture, and the direction their feet are pointing in relation to the person they are interacting with.

2. Listen to voice tone: Studies have found that people get the majority of our information about how others feel from their tone of voice rather than body language or facial expression. This also points to the importance of using expressive tone rather than a flat voice.

3. Ask the right questions: The most effective way to read someones mind is the simplest. Ask and listen.

Emotional Intelligence